New year. New you. Let’s not.

There’s no secret that every new year we try to think of ways to make ourselves better.

I’m going to stop eating sugar. I’m going to go to the gym every day. I’m going to stop drinking caffeine. I’m going to stop eating red meat. And the list could go on.

What does a new you really mean? Are we setting ourselves up for failure? Do you really need a new you?

Let me start by saying that not everything you did last year was bad or unhealthy. This might prompt you to start thinking about everything that you did last year that you could label as bad or unhealthy. Stop it. Let’s talk about moderation and a lifestyle that’s sustainable.

The definition of moderation according to Oxford is the avoidance of excess or extremes, especially in one's behavior or political opinions. 

Drastic changes in behavior are extreme.

Driving a car at 100 mph, pushing the break, and expecting the car to stop immediately is extreme. Drinking unending amounts of caffeinated drinks is excessive. Eating candy all day long, everyday is excessive. I think you get the point here. 

Would you say that the statement:  I will go to the gym every day is extreme? Maybe. I say maybe because what is extreme for me might not be extreme for you. For example, I have not been going to the gym on a regular basis, for many reasons, pandemic included. If I started with a goal to go to the gym everyday, I likely wouldn’t succeed. I would become frustrated with myself. I would feel like a failure. If you are already going to the gym a few times a week, the goal to go to the gym daily isn’t unrealistic. Likely, you will be able to meet this goal, you will feel successful, and you will be happy with your performance. 

When we take the approach of moderation we are more likely to be successful in the goals that we are trying to achieve, in the changes that we are trying to make, and in the improvements that we are looking for. 

To identify what moderation looks like, take a look at the new you version of your goal and scale it back. Are you doing any of that now? Have you done it before? How long will it take you to get to that goal? How will you maintain that when life happens? What is realistic? What is achievable? Is the goal specific? How will you know when you have met it? 

I encourage you to think about small goals that you can meet and grow from. Do you drink coffee all day long? Do you want to eliminate caffeine? Start by reducing the amount of caffeine you are consuming. Some ways to do that might be limiting the time that you allow yourself to drink coffee, could be limiting the number of cups that you have, or the goal may look like making better quality coffee with less caffeine. As you achieve this goal, you can continue to develop new goals working toward your larger goals. 

You will benefit from achieving many small goals.

You will feel empowered. You will be able to identify the success that you have. 

I encourage you to start the year with this idea in mind:  New year, Better me. Maybe this doesn’t roll off your tongue as easily, it doesn’t sound as exciting, it’s definitely not a hashtag, and you won’t find cute memes about it. 

But it is realistic. It is sustainable. And you can continue this approach all year, long after the new me’s have fallen off only to resurface in 2022.

What does the better you look like?