Let’s break up.

Are there things you participate in or do that you don’t remember why you started? You don’t really get a benefit from it? You don’t really see a purpose in continuing to do it? But you keep doing it. And you hate it. You despise having to do it.

Stop it.

Sure, there’s things that we have to do like laundry and dishes. There’s roles we have to fill. However, sometimes there’s things we don’t need to do, but feel like we have to. The ability to say:  “this is no longer for me” and walk away peacefully from whatever it is can be amazingly empowering. 

But, how do you do this?

It’s far easier for me to suggest breaking-up with things than it is to do it, right? This can be difficult because, likely, there are people connected to these tasks. 

Start by taking an inventory of what you are ready to get rid of.

What tasks do you dread doing? What takes so much energy it feels draining? What feels like it's taking your time and energy from the things that you value and are important to you?

Now, scan through this list and cross off the things that you can absolutely not stop.

Be restrictive in this. Notice the word absolutely. Do not cross off items that might have alternative ways of completing it, for example grocery shopping. If grocery shopping is on your list do not cross it off. 

Now that you have your list of options, rank them by order of detest.

This is personal for you. Of the items on your list, what is the #1 most frustrating thing that you wish you could make disappear?

Let’s start by taking one thing at a time, starting with whatever you ranked #1. Ask yourself some questions.

• What other ways exist to complete this?

• Are there other people that could be involved sharing this responsibility?

• What is the benefit of continuing this?

• What is the risk of stopping this?

• What are other people doing to manage this?

From this, take time to make a hard decision.

How will you work towards breaking up or at least decreasing the amount of time and energy? Now, make a plan.

Make small goals, you won’t be able to make large changes overnight that are sustainable. Who are the other players? Are there people that you need to bring in the loop about the changes you will make? Who will hold you accountable? Who will be your cheerleader? Who will be your nay-sayer to make you rethink what you’re doing?

As you progress along the changes you want to make, continue to evaluate. Is what you are doing working? Is it having the outcome you are looking for? And then readjust, but don’t ditch it.

When you buy a car and then get a flat tire, you don’t throw the whole car away. You fix the tire and move forward. Take the same approach as you progress with the goals that you have set and working towards breaking up with some things. And when it works, work on breaking up more!

What is it that you are looking to break-up with?